Anxiety in a New Enviroment

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May 6th, 2026 @ 08:22PM 

Upon my first day in Costa Rica, I felt more negative emotions, such as anxiety and sadness, rather than the excitement I had been building up since being awarded the fellowship. Because it was my first time traveling outside of the country, it felt extremely overwhelming. There were many factors contributing to my feelings, such as the change in climate and the automatic switch to a different language upon my arrival, and the fact that I was on a solo fellowship. I have the rest of the week free so I can adjust to the new environment.

May 8th, 2026  @ 10:30PM

In comparison to the night before yesterday, I feel much better. However, it remains complicated to explain how I'm feeling. I spent my free days resting and watching TikTok, I grew bored of it, but yet couldn't shake myself to explore rather than isolate. I keep reminding myself that this was a process I was very excited for and went through a process for; therefore, I knew what I was signing up for, so I didn't make a mistake. I earned a great opportunity I had to cherish every moment of.

Staying with a host family made the transition so much better. My host family was welcoming, kind, supportive, and very open. I am very grateful to be placed with them. I also had to accept aspects of myself that I am unable to change, like cherishing my alone time, and I shouldn't be ashamed of them. With time, I am confident that this trip will reward me with extrinsic and intrinsic accomplishments I will forever cherish, and every day I grow more grateful for this opportunity.

May 9th, 2026 @ 9:32PM

I had dinner with my host family, and it was amazing! As the days go by, I am getting more comfortable with interacting with my new surroundings. Costa Rica is beautiful! I would say a fun fact is I'm getting used to the amount of bugs right now; I just let them be rather than killing them and being afraid of them. My anxiety is getting much better now, and I feel it was me being homesick rather than anything else. As I wrote this, a big beetle flew on me and scared me. I accidentally killed it because it snuck under my leg :(

My advice for future fellows would be that if you're experiencing immense anxiety, sit with it rather than putting it to the side, but also, you shouldn't let it consume you. As days pass by, I feel like a hermit coming out of its tight shell of anxiety and transitioning to a shell that leaves me with free mobility. Practice mindful meditation, and think of the good things you have been wanting to experience. I was recommended beforehand to write down hopes and goals and continue to look back on them as time goes on!